It is feathery. It is the kind of light brown that, in a certain light, looks almost gray. It has dispensed with the “business in the front” motto, and instead, rises unevenly to the prickly top, like the back of a hedgehog, or a rooster comb, pointing forward. It is, unfortunately, an accurate description of MacGyver’s mullet.
In back, its gentle, choppy layers are flipped out down either side of his neck. It’s long enough to be physically irritating to the viewer (imagine all that long hair stuck to your neck), and short enough to never fit in anywhere; it can’t quite be tucked into the collar of jackets, so it sits half in, half out. He once tried putting it into a very tiny ponytail, but only succeeded in creating a rattail. Yet it’s long enough to move comically with a soft breeze in a slow motion montage. The edges sometimes curl under his ears, creating the impression that he’s not so much wearing a hairstyle as a helmet with a feathered headdress attached to it.
The question I pose is this: what does a mullet bring to the character and the show that a normal haircut doesn’t? I pose this question fully aware that “MacGyver” premiered in 1985 and it may seem self-explanatory. But in Season 1 he doesn’t have a mullet, and while watching it I made a discovery: Richard Dean Anderson is HOT (yes, girls, he is. He’s tall, rugged, and handsome and he likes “The Simpsons”[i].) He’s so hot that when Season 2 comes around his by all means horrifying mullet has to work really, really hard to make him unattractive. Mullets started gaining momentum in America in the 70s, so why did Richard Dean Anderson or Lee David Zlotoff or anyone with control over this decision decide to bypass Season 1 and debut Season 2 MacGyver with the monstrosity described above?
My original, split-second theory was the mullet was added precisely to be in tension with the hotness of Richard Dean Anderson. Why exactly any show producer would intentionally work against the attractiveness of his lead actor, I do not know. “Working in tension with” is just a bullshit phrase I’ve learned to love as an English major. My conjoined theory was that the mullet was there to complicate the persisting and somewhat incredible wholesomeness of MacGyver and help make him a more (feathery and) rounded character. Sound stupid? Yeah, well, it is, but maybe not totally wrong.
After extensive Wikipedia research which led to a lot of Richard Dean Anderson fan-girling[ii] (fictional MacGyver has nothing on you, Jack O’Ne—I mean, Richard), I think the simple explanation for his mullet is this: mullets are traditionally ridiculed as “lowbrow” and unsophisticated[iii], and while MacGyver is not usually considered these things he is often considered an embodiment of EVERY PART OF AMERICAN LIFE EVER. It’s not just that he can do everything and build anything; he also represents everything. He is/has been/can be at any given time a physics and chemistry genius, a mountain climber, a professional environmentalist, a resource of the National Forest Foundation, a spy, a former member of a bomb squad, a Boy scout, an oil well firefighter, a member of the U.S. Air Force who explores other worlds and fights vicious alien enemies[iv], a bounty hunter, a private detective, a de facto CPS worker, a hopeless romantic, a champion pool player (because of physics), an amateur archeologist and the close confidant/Big Brother of nearly half the population of the world; he takes art classes, plays guitar and once performed facial reconstruction on a skull with play dough. This is in addition to all the shit he "MacGyvers” (bombs, lock picks, airplanes made from bamboo).
MacGyver’s attempt to be every part of American culture results in a personality that is so balanced and, well, perfect that it’s unbelievable (really, unfortunately not realistic). He spouts down-homey maxims that would make Sarah Palin proud if he, after speaking, drew the same conservative conclusions she did. He works to preserve national forests and endangered wildlife (one episode basically turned into a PSA about saving the Black Rhino), and he also helps his friends save their oil well (because entrepreneurs are this country’s backbone, and all hard-working folks deserve a chance at a dream). It would be interesting to see an episode where two issues like this conflict, but I don’t think that will happen.
What does this have to do with his mullet? I don’t know anymore. I’m afraid I’ve gotten a little lost.
Oh, yes. He is doing his best to represent every part of American culture in his person, so the lowbrow hairstyle has to be in there too. It is what keeps him from looking appropriate in a suit (suits are so un-MacGyver) and being labeled a square (he doesn’t drink, after all. Or swear. Or do anything reprehensible at all). His mullet pretty much sums up all the lowbrow, un-square, uncool stuff he still needs to represent while he’s out being so awesome.
But this could all be bullshit, and Anderson could just like mullets; some people do:
http://www.mulletjunky.com/
[i] For more illumination on this, please watch Anderson’s other celebrated, exceptional show.*
[ii] http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fangirling, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dean_Anderson
[iii] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullet_(haircut)
[iv] Oh, wait. Wrong show.
*Stargate SG-1
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